The Answer Blog: Question 3

I’ve got another question here from a good old friend from around the second time I dropped out of college.  Michelle Pollitt asked on facebook : “Do you ever play shows?”

The short answer is no.  I don’t play many shows.  I think the last time I did was right after I moved back to Texas (May 2009).  I actually drove the moving van straight to a church and sang some songs.  I like playing shows but I really like not playing shows.  If I had to chose between playing and not playing I’d usually choose not playing.  It’s mostly because I’m very lazy.  And I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I don’t have any of my songs memorized.  I write songs, sing them 3 times, record them, put ’em on the internet and then move onto the next ones.   I never feel like I can give an adequately emotional performance when all I think about when I’m singing into microphones is, “Oh man… what’s the next line?”  I try to say lots of dumb things so people will laugh and ignore the fact that I don’t know what I’m doing.  It’s pretty embarrassing but I just try to convince myself that humans are entertained by watching other humans make fools of themselves.  I’m good at that part, not to get cocky.

What gets me is I’ll try really hard to memorize the last 5 songs I wrote to play but then nobody knows those songs and then they wish I played 5 songs from 2005 or something.  And I can’t even remember 2 songs from 2008!  It’s funny to me because I think I started writing songs so I could connect to people but then I can’t ever remember how to play the songs people like.  I get bored of songs after the first few times.  I know they’re new to other people and everything but I just get tired of them pretty fast.

Also, when people go see musicians live they have these huge expectations and I always feel like my performance style is massively disappointing.  I just stand there.   Maybe for future shows I’ll light my guitar on fire.  But that might be a bad idea because I wouldn’t have anything else to play… hmm…  Maybe I’ll do some juggling or smash some vegetables instead.  Or wear a bright orange jumpsuit.  It would probably be good to make the shows more theatrical.   And then maybe even play the shows.

Any more questions?

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