First 10 Pages of the mMMMmmmrmm…

Note:  This is the first 10 pages of the first draft of a screenplay I wrote a couple of months ago.  Right now it’s 60 pages and I was aiming for more than 90 but… it might be okay.  I’m tired of working on it.   I wrote it in “official screenplay format” and I was really excited to show off my skillz but wordpress is scrunching everything tight so it might be strange to read.
I’m feeling generous so that’s why I’m posting this but I might freak out and delete it in the next few hours.  I don’t know.  I think this story is funny.
Oh yeah… I don’t know Zooey Deschanel or anything.  I was wanting to write a story about obsessive fandom and she seemed like an interesting celebrity.  My goal is to try to write a few screenplays as practice.  This is numero uno.
Honey, I Got Shrunk And Ended Up With Zooey Deschanel
By
Jeff Grant
INT. A COMPUTER SCREEN – DAY OR NIGHT
A mouse travels across a computer screen.  The controller of
it is never revealed.  It goes about some normal web surfing
for a moment.  Suddenly, a link to a trailer for “Weirdo
Love” pops up.  The mouse goes over curiously and clicks
it.
The trailer for the movie plays.  A gruff-voiced NARRATOR
says these lines over brief images.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
This summer…
A helicopter shot passing over a small town.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
…see what happens…
A front door opens mysteriously.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
…when a shy artsy guy…
A shy artsy guy scribbles into his notebook, trying not to
be seen.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
..with a low level of confidence…
The shy artsy guy looks bashful.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
..spots a bombshell…
ZOOEY DESCHANEL flings her hair back over her head in slow
motion.  The shy artsy guy’s mouth drops and his eyes
expand.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
…of the highest pedegree…
In a big house a MAID hands Zooey a silver plate with
vitamins on it.
MAID
Your vitamins, m’ dear..
ZOOEY
(knocks plate away)
I HATE vitamins!!!
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              2.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
..and tries to woo her…
Shy artsy guy is talking to Zooey, who is looking away,
unimpressed.
SHY ARTSY GUY
(looking at his shoes)
I was just uh… wondering if you
wanted to get some soda pop..
NARRATOR (V.O.)
..using techniques from popular
culture.
The shy artsy guy holds a boom box over his head (like in
Say Anything) that is playing “I Will Always Love You” by
Whitney Houston (like in The Bodyguard).
NARRATOR (V.O.)
He almost gets the girl…
Zooey is standing next to him, suddenly smiling.
ZOOEY
You’re kind of cute…
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Until he starts acting…
Guy gets a devilish grin and his face starts to turn red
like a cartoon.
SHY ARTSY GUY
(manically with his hands in
the air)
YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWZA!!!!!!!!!!!
Zooey runs off, afraid.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
..like a weirdo.
Guy is alone, doing cartwheels in the sunset.  The title
hits the screen right as it’s being said-
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Weirdo Love… this film is not yet
rated.
End trailer.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              3.
The unseen user goes to google and types in “zoey
deshenel”.. This pulls up a list of sites.  4 down is one
called http://www.thezooeyzone.com.  The mouse clicks it.
Now we’re at The Zooey Zone Website.  There are a few things
going on but in the center of the page is a youtube video
titled “Zooey Q & A This Saturday at _______!!!!”  The mouse
clicks it.
The video loads and a hefty, bearded 25-year old guy is
doing one of those talking-to-the-screen videos.  This is
BULL CAVE, the webmaster of The Zooey Zone.
BULL
(straight to the camera)
Hey hey hey, fellow Zooeyacs.  I’ve
got great news for any of you who
are gonna be in the Los Angeles
area this weekend.  Our queen Zooey
will be making a special appearance
at _________.  Sources tell me that
there will be a live Q and A
session and that she might be
signing autographs.  It’s a
promotional event for her new movie
Weirdo Love, which as we all know
comes out next weekend.  Now, I
wanted to let you guys know that I
will personally be attending the
event with my fellow Zooey Zone
ambassador, Drew Hummer.  He’s the
second-in-command-guy at the site
and I’ve been showing him the
ropes.  This means that we will
hopefully be able to do some
videoing during the event.  The
goal is to get the footage up on
the internet as soon as we can….
Anyway, I don’t have much else to
say.  I hope to see some of you
there in person… Okay, that’s it.
Video shuts off.
INT. BULL’S BASEMENT OFFICE/BEDROOM – THURSDAY NIGHT
Bull sits at his desk in a dark room, talking to his
computer.  This is him at the end up the recording we just
saw.  He starts to load it up to youtube and then he crawls
into bed and stares at the screen as it goes through the
loading process.
4.
INT. BULL’S BASEMENT OFFICE/BEDROOM – FRIDAY MORNING
Bull is awake.  It’s the same room but now it’s the next
morning.  Bull picks up his cell phone and dials a
number.  The phone rings 3 times and then goes to voice
mail.
BULL
(into the phone)
Hey man, it’s me.  I was just
calling to remind you about
Saturday.  I’m sure you haven’t
forgotten.  You’re working I
bet.  Well anyway, I was just
wanting to flesh out some
details.  Just give me a call
whenever you get the
chance.  Peace.
Hangs up.
INT. MALL CELL PHONE STORE – FRIDAY MORNING
A cell phone attached to a guy’s belt goes off informing him
that he has a new message.  This is DREW HUMMER.  He is the
top salesman here at _______.  He’s in the middle of talking
to a customer about a cell phone plan.
DREW
… yeah, for your price range you
really can’t go wrong with this
model.  It’s got this sleek, sexy
design.  A lot of college students
are getting this one.  They come in
a few different colors…
Black.  White.  Navy
blue.  Silver… a couple others.
CUSTOMER
That sounds nice.  Are there any
deals going on right now?  Somebody
told me you guys had some deals
going.
DREW
As a matter of fact, I think we can
do a
buy-one-get-another-for-one-half-off
thing.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              5.
CUSTOMER
That sounds perfect.
DREW
And what colors would you like?
As he’s saying this a girl the same age as Drew walks
in.  This is FAITH HAGGARD, Drew’s girlfriend.  They make
eye contact.  Faith knows the drill.  Wait until he’s done
with the sale…
CUSTOMER
(continuing)
Let’s go one silver and one… do
you have hot pink?
DREW
I think we might have a regular
pink in the back.
CUSTOMER
Regular pink is fine.
DREW
I’ll be right back.
Drew walks quickly to the back and passes Faith.  He looks
at her.
DREW
One moment, Ma’am.
FAITH
Take you’re time…
Drew runs into the back room for a second.  Then he comes
back out with the phone.  He goes to ring up the
customer.  Faith looks around at the phones even though
she’s seen them many times already.
Drew finishes up and the customer leaves.  Faith comes up to
the counter.
DREW
What’s up?
FAITH
How’s it going today?
DREW
Not bad.  I’ve made a few
sales.  It’s been kinda slow
though.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              6.
FAITH
Yeah.  Us too…
DREW
Did you just call me?
FAITH
No.
DREW
Oh… Must’ve been Bull.
FAITH
Oh, yeah…  Bull.  What do you
think he wanted?
DREW
Did I tell you about that Zooey
Deschanel Q & A thing we’re gonna
go to on Saturday?
Faith looks away.  Zooey Deschanel isn’t her favorite topic.
FAITH
Uh.. I don’t know.  Maybe.  What is
it?
DREW
It’s a question and answer-
FAITH
(cutting him off)
I know what a Q & A is!!  I
mean… is this for that website
ya’ll do?
DREW
Yeah.  He wants me to come so I can
video tape him asking questions to
Zooey.  He’s got these questions
prepared and everything.
FAITH
(rolling her eyes)
I don’t understand why ya’ll do
that.  Drew, that guy is weird.  I
don’t think you should help him
with his website about Zooey
Deschanel.
DREW
I don’t know if I’ll do it
forever.  It’s good experience in a
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              7.
DREW (cont’d)
way.  I’m learning about how to
update websites and stuff.
FAITH
That’s fine but, I mean, I’m your
girlfriend.  It’s weird that you
spend all of this free time devoted
to some girl you’ve never met.  I
guess I’m kinda jealous..
DREW
Don’t be jealous. I don’t think
it’ll last very long.  I just… I
like Zooey Deschanel too.
FAITH
Well, I like Robert Downey Jr. but
I don’t have a website devoted to
him.
DREW
You should hear Bull talk about
it.  He’s really passionate.
FAITH
I’m not interested in talking to
Bull about Zooey Deschanel!  Have
fun, Drew…
Faith stomps out of the store, trying to prove her
point.  Drew watches her go, silently.
INT. MALL FOOD COURT – LATE FRIDAY AFTERNOON
Drew is sitting at a table in the mall finishing up his
dinner.  He’s on a late break.  He sips from his soda and
picks up his cell phone and dials Bull’s number.  It rings a
couple times and then-
DREW
Hey man.  What’s up?
BULL
Hey, thanks for calling me
back.  Are you still cool about
tomorrow?
DREW
Yeah, definitely.  What time does
it start?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              8.
BULL
Well, the doors open at 9:30 and
the event starts at 10:30.  I
wanted to get there early ’cuz I
bet there’s gonna be a crowd.
DREW
What time are you gonna pick me up?
BULL
How’s nine?
DREW
Nine’s good.  Do you need me to
bring anything?
BULL
Not really.  Just your
camera..  Any more questions?
DREW
Well, one thing..
BULL
What’s that?
DREW
I was telling Faith about the event
and-
BULL
(cutting him off)
Who’s Faith?
DREW
Faith is my girlfriend.
BULL
(unimpressed)
Oh yeah.  Continue.
DREW
She’s just kinda weirded out about
the whole thing. She thinks I care
more about Zooey than I do about
her.
BULL
Well, she just needs to get over
that.  Zooey wouldn’t do that.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              9.
DREW
I’m… I’m not dating Zooey, man.
BULL
(getting defensive)
Listen man, if your girl is worth
keeping then she’ll get over
that.  And if not… well, maybe
she isn’t worth your time anyway.
DREW
We’ve been going out for 5 years!
BULL
Well, I’ve been waiting to talk to
Zooey for 5 years!
DREW
Oh yeah?  …Uh… You know, I
don’t care about this argument.
BULL
I don’t either.
DREW
See you at 9?
BULL
Cool
They both hang up.
INT. BULL’S MOM’S CAR – SATURDAY MORNING, 9 AM
Bull pulls up in front of Drew’s apartment.  Drew sees the
car, comes down and gets in the car.
BULL
Did you remember your camera?
DREW
Yeah, man.  I’ve got it right here.
Opens up his backpack to reveal his video camera.
BULL
This is gonna be radical…
The car drives off.
10.
EXT. BUILDING WHERE THE Q & A IS – SAT. MORNING, 9:34 AM
Bull and Drew arrive at the building where the Q & A
is.  They open up the trunk and get out a backpack with a
camera in it.  They walk towards the front door.
BULL
Do you think she’ll look different
in real life?  I’ve never seen her
in real life.
DREW
I don’t know.
BULL
Is is weird to you that she’s real?
I keep thinking it’s weird.  I
don’t think of Zooey as a real
person.
DREW
I guess she is.  Yeah, that is
kinda weird.
BULL
What if our lives change
today?  What if we see her and we
become different people?  What if
our whole lives change?
DREW
Maybe it’ll happen.  This day
already feels so different.  Maybe
this will blow our minds.
BULL
I hope it does.  I always want that
to happen to me.  And I really
believe it could happen today.
DREW
I’m nervous.
BULL
(with holy awe)
I’m… ready.
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