Secret Blog 50

Hello, how’s it going everybody?  Sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to this blog.  I think it’s been a few weeks.  I’ve been meaning to finish off this last entry but for some reason I keep putting it off.  I think it might be because I want it to be crazy good.  I want it to to feel like the culmination of some epic undertaking.  But it probably won’t end like that.

All I can think about this morning is how worn out I am.  I feel like I should be in bed and stay in bed.  I had a weird day yesterday.  I spent the weekend in west Texas visiting my sister and her husband and my 13-or-so month old niece.  It was a nice visit.  We got back Sunday night and yesterday I woke up meaning to get back into my writing groove but it just wasn’t happening.  I got on the internet and just read a bunch of stuff all day.  It was productive because I recorded 2 song request videos for youtube.  It was #’s 3 and 4.  I might do a fifth one if anybody has any more requests.  We’ll see.

Anyway, after getting busy on the internet I kept forgetting to eat.  And eventually by about 4 or 5 I decided that I needed to put something in my stomach.  So I made some strawberry Poptarts and poured a glass of milk to wash it down with.  But after the first sip I realized that the milk was a few days old.  I think it was 4 days old.  But I didn’t get much so I thought I’d be fine.

After that I decided to make some eggs just to have something more substantial in my body.  I scrambled 4 and melted some cheese in too.

Well, after a few hours my body started to go south.  I could tell that my stomach wasn’t feeling very happy.  Still, I didn’t think it was that bad.  I decided to go to bed early and hopefully wake up feeling a little better.  My dad saw that I was feeling bad so he took a pretty late trip to a drug store and got some Pepto Bismol, a 7 Up and some Alka Seltzers.  I took a couple sips of 7 Up and I think that’s when my stomach decided that whatever was in me was going to come up through my mouth instead of out the other end later.  I walked into the bathroom and could feel some turbulence.  I was glad that I caught it early ‘cuz I made it to the toilet before it all started coming out.

It was a rough puke.  It was one of those pukes where a bit comes out and you think it’s over.  And then more comes out.  And then more.  And then more.  I kept spitting in the toilet to get it out of my mouth.  (Sorry, this entry’s gotten pretty gross)

I get some pretty good sleep last night only my mind was spinning about Lost.  I’ve been consuming so much Lost internet information that I think it’s wearing me down.

This morning I feel loads better but still a little weak.  I’ll probably lay down again.

I have this issue lately though.  It isn’t just lately actually, it’s happened for a while.  My mind will get zooming from reading and writing and then it’s time for bed and I just lay there for a while and wait for my thoughts to slow down.  I used to think that manual labor was the only kind of work that could leave you exhausted but that’s not accurate.  Mental work can wear you down just as much.  I think that’s why I get confused about it.  I’ll spend a few hours at a computer or working on a writing project and realize that I can’t get my brain to chill out.  I’ve often wondered if this is why a lot of writers drink.  Or at least that it’s one of the reasons.  Sometimes you just want your mind to relax and chill out for a minute.

I guess I haven’t figured out how to switch over yet.

I am one of those people who needs a lot of alone time.  I’ll sit on my bed and just feel mentally tired.  Sometimes I have great and fun thoughts but sometimes they’re just heavy and weird and I don’t know what to do with them.  I know that having bad thoughts is normal.  I think most people have that, though most people don’t talk about it.  I don’t know.  My brain will get going down some road and I don’t know how to get it back.

It’s crazy when you think about all the stuff that gets in your head on a daily basis.  I know that my head is filled with TV shows and websites.  I don’t get it.  I think I’m in more of a TV season than normal.  I’ve been watching so many shows.  Or at least 5.  And that’s a lot for me.  And I’m very into them.

Gosh, I had such big plans for this Secret Blog project but I don’t know if I made it.  I’ve been sitting around waiting for the Lost series finale and hoping that it will end well.  I wanted to end this blog series well too.  Like, as if it has all come to conclude in a profound way.  But I don’t have anything fancy to say other than that I’m feeling tired and I think I’m glad that this whole thing is over.  I’m just ready to be done.

Maybe I’ll take a break from writing.  I do know that if I write another series of blogs they will be more focused and I’ll try to outline them before I start.  Stuff like this just takes a long time.  Sometimes it’s cool to wander but I know that it would go a lot smoother if I had more of a plan.  Hmm…

Anyway, thanks for reading this stuff and I hope you have a good day or life, whoever the heck you are!

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