Secret Blog 36

Oh whoops.  I just opened up my blog on accident.  Or maybe out of habit.  This could get crazy.  Usually I have a topic before I start writing these things but this time I’m just bored of reading twitter and facebook updates.  Lost is starting right now but I’m gonna wait to watch it with my dad and stepmother.  It’s being recorded.  Gosh, it’s so tempting.  I know they wouldn’t care but it’s more fun to watch with other obsessed people.  And later on after they go to bed I’m sure I’ll peruse the internet to read what everybody else thought about it.  That’s the routine afterall. 

It’s dark in this room.  I’m gonna turn a light on.

Okay.  That’s better.  (I just turned the light on).  Okay.

Have you noticed all of my blog entries about my dreams?  I’ve been writing some down.  It’s funny to have them readable.  I am fascinated with dreams.  I think it’s because they are so illogical but you just have to accept them.  I don’t know if you can control your dreams.  I know some dreamologists have debates about stuff like that.  I don’t know how to control my dreams.  They are like rides for me.  Like virtual reality.  I just watch them and participate at all the right times.  And they never have clear endings.  They just fizzle out and I wake up or drift out of them. 

I was wondering if any dreamologists had found my blog and were reading about my dreams and coming to strange conlusions.  Like, “Oh man.  This guy’s got some serious issues!”  Real embarassing stuff.  I hope they wouldn’t tell me because that would bother me.  So far no one has.  No dreamologists have said anything to me.  And no one else has either.  I don’t know if anybody is reading this stuff.  And that’s always comforting.

I was thinking today about how quiet I am most of the time and how it can be a challenge to think up something to write about.  I have a hard time predicting what will be interesting.  It’s surprising what people will endure.  I often feel like an old man with too many boring stories.   I guess that’s okay.  I always hope the audience is feeling equally bored as me.  That way whatever I say will just take them away on an exciting adventure.  I mean, I’ve read books where I’ve thought, “Why are they talking about all of this pointless and boring stuff?!  How do they get by selling this and do other people like to read all this crap!?”  See, a lot of writing seems like filler to me.  I think that’s why I drifted to songwriting earlier.  You can say things fast in a song and it’s cool.  You don’t have to explain everything.  The mystery is part of the allure.  But then, you can have mystery in regular writing too.  That’s still okay.

Sorry this isn’t getting anywhere.  I read something the other day that seemed so pointless and I found it very fun to read because it was so weird and random.   That’s what gave me the courage and inspiration to write this entry.  That and I really wanna get to number 50 quick. 

So yeah.  This is all filler.  And what’s sad is that I don’t even know what this Secret Blog would be about without filler.  It’s all filler, man.

Why am I wasting all of my time writing when I could be watching TV? 

I gotta scram.

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