Secret Blog 32

Hello.  How’s it going?  It’s really late here.  I might go to sleep.  I’m not sure.  I’m tired right now.  I need to be disciplined and push myself to say some stuff but gaw..  I’d like to be asleep.  I think I could get there quickly.  Probably within 5 minutes I recon.

Instead I’m gonna write some stuff.

That’s my introduction for today.  That’s how you keep ’em coming back, folks.  Just tell ’em how tired you are.

I wonder if I’ll be able to finish this.  When I’m tired my brain doesn’t work very well.  It feels weak inside right now.  It feels like there’s air in my head.  I’m just trying to articulate what it feels like to be sleepy.  I’m not even having to force myself. 

Last night I couldn’t sleep so I tried a bunch of tricks I made up.  One was to count to 1,000 as slow as possible.  I think I made it to about 150-something.  Then I tried this other thing where I just repeat “I don’t know” in my mind every time I think of anything.  I’ll think it as a response.  I thought it might help me to relax when my mind can’t settle down.


I don’t know.


I don’t know.


I don’t know.


I don’t know.


I don’t know.


I don’t know.


I don’t know.


I don’t know.

This doesn’t work by the way.  I thought it would help my mind to let go of things so it could calm down.  Instead it makes me scared that I’m gonna accidently hypnotize myself and never wake up (which would just be horrible).

I have another sleeping trick.   I was laying on my bed and listening to myself breathing and I thought that maybe I could relax if I concentrated on my inhales and exhales (I don’t think I invented this one, honestly).  I tried to think about all kinds of calm things like ponds and grass and clouds.

That stupid idea didn’t work either so I just gave up and went and watched Zoolander.

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