Secret Blog 19

I’m not a very patriotic person.  I don’t cry when I hear the National Anthem.  I feel overpropandized about the whole thing.   America seems about as real to me as a stage play.  I don’t know why exactly but I mostly don’t respect it.  I think America seems like a big, arrogant, bully of a country.

I’m not sure if there’s another country that I would respect more.  Maybe not.  Maybe I would be like this anywhere.  Maybe I’m just not into countries.

The “big thing” doesn’t appeal to me.  Washington seems like another world.  Politicians don’t seem admirable to me.  They all seem hollow,  always aware of their appearances.  I’m skeptical about them.  It seems like nonsense.  Like walking in circles. 

I don’t have a perspective on the government to where I can understand the purpose of it.  I always want to keep a distance from it’s noise.

I hope I don’t seem like a completely aweful person.  I’m trying to be honest about this.  And I don’t think other people should feel the same way as me.  I think I have a bad attitude.  But I still have the attitude.  Maybe there’s more to it but I don’t feel like overanalyzing it right now.

I feel like I don’t want to have much of a relationship with the government but I don’t know why.  Thinking about the government makes me want to take a shower and clean it off somehow.

I don’t even know what I’m talking about here.  I might be an idiot.  And I don’t know if it matters how I feel (or if I’m an idiot). 

Who cares?  I probably wouldn’t.

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