What does Wednesday even mean?

“What the heck does Wednesday even mean?”

I ask the heavens.

And the heavens roll their eyes and say,

“There are better questions to ask.”

So I take a moment to ponder what I should ask the heavens.

In preparation, I ask myself,

“What question shall I bring to God?”

And all I can think to ask is

“Should I capitalize ‘the heavens’ when I type it out?”

And I already know what God’s response will be.


Then I will feel humble and contemplate my next action.

Perhaps I should pick up a dictionary or Bible.

Will these books solve my enduring woe? (I don’t know)


Sometimes I wonder if Tina Fey would want to be friends with me

It’s not a thought that I take very seriously.

I have imaginary situations in my mind of what would go down.

I would go up to her and be like, 

“Ms. Fey!  I wrote a joke and I think you might like it!  Please, Please laugh at me!!”

And in my imagination she reaches for the phone to call security.

But before the they arrive I let out my joke

And it strikes her as hilarious and thought provoking.

And she takes a moment and scratches her chin and says,

“You know, kid.   I don’t know much but I know humor.  And boy you got it!”

Then the security guards show up and she’s like,

“Hey, kid!  Tell these guys that joke!  It was claaaasic!”

Then I tell them and the security guards are like,

“You know kid, first we thought you were a criminal but now we see that you might have a future in show business!  Keep up the hilarious work!”

Then she goes and talks to the strange NBC executives 

And since she’s Tina Fey, they listen real good to her.

And then the next season I have my own show on NBC

(And I’m feeling torn because I was with Coco, but that’s another story)

My show is called 31 Rock.  

It’s a spinoff of 30 Rock about a homeless guy that lives in the dumpster right next to the NBC building.

And I play the homeless guy.

I’m hip and wisecracking and poor as anything.

People are always dumping trash on me and I just smile and say, “Thanks!  Have a great day!”

My character will be this guy who thinks he is smarter and more talented than everybody else and who has chosen a life of naught so as to be freer to speak hard truths to the undank of society.

He feels that the higher ups would strangle his ability to be honest with their obsessions of making money. 

He has chosen a self-inflicted poverty and diminished lifestyle with the hope of speaking these hard truths to those who might be bold enough to call themselves “the least of these”.

His motto is, “If a true poet is destined for the gutter, might as well go ahead and move in.”

That’s my show idea.


There are other things going on in the world

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