Jeff Time: Day 24

Question:  Do you have anything to say right now?

Answer:  No, not really.

Question:  Then why are you blogging?

Answer:  I’m not sure.  I thought about my blog and wanted to write something.  I can’t say that’s a good reason.  

Question:  Why do you assume that people need to hear you blab right now?

Answer:  Gosh, I don’t know.  I don’t think they need to… Maybe… maybe it will be worthwhile for them in some way that I cannot predict.  That’s what I normally bank on.  The “accidental enjoyment of strangers”, you see.

Question:  What do you think makes a blog “worthwhile”?

Answer:  Well, I want to say that a blog is worthwhile when it’s informative and you can learn something from it.  Sometimes I think people are just bored and will read anything you put in front of their face.  And not that it justifies it.  People read a lot of junk and seem to be pretty okay about it.  They listen to junk just as quickly as they stuff their faces with junk food.  So, if the quality of the blogs starts to go South, well as long as I’m distracting them with style, the audience could care less what I talk about.  I don’t know how picky the average reader is.  I often think that if they follow a link all the way to a blog, then they might just read the thing.  And it’s their business if they like what they hear, I guess.

Question:  Just who do you think actually reads your blog, man?

Answer:  Oh, gosh.  I don’t know.  It could be anybody or nobody.  It could be a family member or the President.  I really have no way of knowing.  I’m assuming that in all honesty, it’s a person that I either worked with or went to school or church with at one point.   Those are the main people I know.  I mean, I’ve met a lot of people in my life but I think a very small percentage of them would travel across the internet to read a blog I wrote, know what I’m sayin’?

Question:  Sure.  I guess.  

Answer:  Wait a second.  Who is this?!  Why are you asking me all these questions?  What is this, an interrogation!?

Question:  No.  No, you have the wrong idea, man!  I’m just trying to give you constructive criticism, that’s all… you know… to make your blog better and everything..

Answer:  Well, for a minute there it felt like you were trying to dig up something that wasn’t even there, if you catch my drift.  

Question:  Drift caught.  And I apologize if my interviewing techniques rubbed you the wrong way.  That wasn’t my intention.  I have to admit that I am new to this and I did feel that I was crossing a personal line with my questions.  In all honesty, I’m glad that you spoke up before things got more out of hand.

Answer:  I’m just trying to be careful here.  I mean, I can’t see you or anything.  I have no idea who is asking me these questions.  I feel like I’m talking to myself, man!

Question:  Well, are you?  Talking to yourself, I mean.

Answer:  Gosh, why do you have to ask me that?  Just when I was starting to feel better about myself you have to go and ask me if I’m talking to myself.  I don’t talk to myself.  No.  There’s your answer.  There you go.  Take that to the presses!  But I bet you twist the story around to make it more interesting!  Just go and get filthy rich telling people that I’m talking to myself!  That’s fine with me!  What do I care if people think I talk to myself?!   I don’t care!   That’s fine!!

Question:   CHILL OUT, MAN.  Just CALM down… It’s gonna be O-kay, okay?

Answer:  Who do you write for, man?  Just answer me that much.  Just let me know what tabloid you work for?!

Question:  Hey hey hey hey!  Come on, bra.  Easy with the emotion.  We’re both grown ups here.  We can settle this like men.  Right?  Am I right or am I right?

Answer:  Oh… so you’re a man, huh?  Well that narrows this whole mystery down quite a bit!  Now that I know you’re a man I can cross off you being a female or even an inquisitive little boy.  Hmm… I wonder how old you are… 

Question:  Hey, who’s interviewing who here?!  You can’t turn your questions on me!!  I’M the one with the questions!!!  You’re just a freaky blogger!!!

Answer:  Wha-!   Well I neve-… I-  I can’t believe you just said that.  After I’ve been so polite to you this whole time!   You have no decency.  Maybe I like my blog!  Maybe I was just fine without all of your input!   What do you know about blogs?!?!

Question:  I-  I’m a blogger too… I’m just like you…  I’m in the same boat…

Answer:  What?  You’re a blogger?   Just like me?   You have a blog too!   I can’t believe this…  I-  I’m so sorry.  I didn’t know I was talking to someone just like me.  I didn’t know we were the same kind of person… and both guys.  I didn’t know all of this when this conversation began..  (to self) I’ve spoken so quickly and callously… and to a person not very different from myself…

Question:  No.  I should have been more clear.  It was unfair of me to pounce on you with those questions.  I’m not even an interviewer.  I’m nobody.  I’m just a blogger trying to figure out how to have a better blog, that’s all…  The reason… the reason I was asking you all of those questions wasn’t so I could exploit you.  I asked the questions… (sniff)  I asked the questions because I wanted to learn.  I thought that you could teach me… about how to blog better.  That’s all…

Answer:  It’s so embarrassing to be me now after hearing all of this information.  It just reveals who I really am… I’m just a paranoid blogger… I’m afraid of questions… I need to work through these issues…

Questions:  No.  Don’t feel bad.  I think you have a great blog.  I’ve always admired your blog.

Answer:  What?  No.  Do you mean that?  Are you just saying that now to get on my good side after all we’ve been talking about?

Question:  No, man.  I believe in this blog.  I wouldn’t have asked you those questions if I didn’t feel that I needed the answers myself…  You… you are my inspiration…  I’m sorry, I’m normally not this honest.  I blog because you showed me the way to blog…  I love your blog.

Answer:  You love my blog?  How can I not think of you as a friend after the words you just said.  No.  How can I not think of you… as a brother…?

Question:  A brother?  What?  You think of me as a brother?!   (to self)  I never had a brother before…

Answer:  We are brothers.  Figuratively for now, though hopefully time will tell the true nature of our relationship…  We are brother bloggers.  If we had a joint website it would be called “Brother Bloggers dot com” and we would help each other make it the best blog in the world…

Question:  You paint a beautiful mental picture… brother… (to self) I sure do like the sound of that…    

Answer:  It’s strange to me that when we were talking before, I thought that perhaps I was talking to myself.  When in fact, I was talking to my brother.  I was talking to a completely different person though we have the same mother and father and blood, in theory.  Two people very close to being one person, but still two people… wow…

Question:  Now that we have decided that we are brothers and both fully grown men, I can’t help but wonder which of us is older… or if… wouldn’t it be wild if we were… twins?!

Answer:  Wild but not surprising this late in such a revelatory conversation… tell me, when were you born, brother?

Question:  I was born on April 14, 1980.

Answer:  Well, either you are lying to me… or we are in fact not only brothers but TWINS!!!  WE ARE TWINS, BROTHER!!!

Questions:  Well, we must have been separated at birth!!  We have to celebrate!!!  It’s not every day that one finds his long lost brother who also happens to be his TWIN!!!  

Answer:  You’re right.  It would be wrong to not celebrate tonight.  We should go somewhere special.  Where do you want to go brother?  You decide.

Question:  I know that some would choose a high class restaurant to celebrate finding their long lost twin brother but… since you are my brother after all, I feel that I can be honest with you…  

Answer:  Go ahead brother… I cannot judge blood… what restaurant are you thinking about?

Question:  If I could go anywhere tonight… it would be… it would be Chili’s…

Answer:  There’s only one right way for me to reply to that:   I LOVE CHILI’S!!!   Chili’s would be PERFECT!!!   Let’s go!   

Question:  Wonderful!   Uh, one question… is it okay if you drive?  I don’t have a car right now…

Answer:  Oh… you don’t have a car?  Uh…  I was actually counting on you having a car… I too don’t have a car…

Question:  Hmm… Well… uh… I have to admit that this was not a coincidence I was hoping for.  But this is our reality… How are we going to get to Chili’s?

Answer:  I guess we could walk there… but… uh.. brother, I have to tell you something else…

Question:  Oh, okay… well, go ahead, I’m ready.

Answer:  I don’t have any money right now and I might need you to pay for me… is that okay… brother?

Question:  Uh… well… I mean… it would be okay… only, I don’t have any money either… I was hoping that you could buy me something too… this is… this is pretty ironic, huh?  

Answer:  We seem to continue having things in common… at times it is a great thing… but at other times, like this… I wish that we could depend on each other…  chips and salsa was starting to sound very good to me..

Question:  Yeah, me too..  We were similar in that way too…   

Answer:  Listen, I want to tell you something else about me.  Some other bit of unfathomable news.  I may be poor but I’m resourceful.  I do not see this as an end.  This is our chance, as freshly-reunited twin brothers, to work together to make our joint brotherhood stronger than if we were alone.  We must put our heads together to figure out how to celebrate this great, once-in-two-lifetimes day!!

Question:  You are right, twin brother!!  You are so consistently right, it seems!  At every turn in this conversation you seem to always be right.  I have to admit that it is refreshing to be around a person with such a high level of logic and… well, charm.  I think it’s okay to say that.

Answer:   I am not offended.  Well, let me think about it for a second… (thinking)… No.  I’m not offended.  

Question:  Well, getting back to the matter at hand.  I can’t think of how to celebrate this night… 

Answer:  Me neither… what do you normally do when you can’t figure out what to do next?

Question:  I play solitaire.

Answer:  Me too.  I play solitaire when I can’t think of anything else to do, also.

Question:  Well, that’s obviously what we should do.. But… twin brother, tell me this:  How are we supposed to play solitaire since we are two people?

Answer:  That is a great question.

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