Jeff Time: Day 23

It’s country song day on the blog!!

Here are two songs.  Have a great day.

I Tried To Marry Your Wife

I tried to marry your wife

Mighta’ freaked her out a couple different times

Woulda’ read her poems on the phone

But she never picked it up

So, how’d you get her?  I swear I’d love to know

Did you swoon her?  I took things slow

Do you suffer like I gladly woulda’?

Do you love her like I knew I coulda’?

 

I prayed and prayed and prayed and lost

I acted like bait but I couldn’t get caught

She never gave me a chance

(Or maybe she did)

How’d you get her, I swear I’d love to know

Did you swoon her?  I took things slow

Do you suffer like I gladly woulda’?

Do you love her like I knew I coulda’?

 

Next time, before my woman marries another man

I’ll think quicker through my situation

And formulate some sorta’ foolproof plan

 

But you know, I never even kissed her

I had so much I never did deliver

Why when I had her in my trap

Did I have to take a nap?

How’d you get her, I swear I’d love to know

Did you swoon her?  I took things slow

Do you suffer like I gladly woulda’?

Do you love her like I knew I coulda’?

 

My Tractor is Really a Robot

Well, last week when I was in the pasture

Trimmin’ the cornstalk all like normal

I heard some sorta’ beepin’ and some metal rattlin’

I’m tellin’ you the truth   man, I ain’t tattlin’

Now, I did me about 3 double takes

That’s 6 shocked looks for Willie-Nelson’s-sake

‘Cuz my crop hauler was standing 30 feet tall

No, I ain’s sniffin’ Ethanol, I know what I saw

My tractor is really a robot

I said, my tractor is really a robot

And my chicken coop might be an alien base

My John Deer wrote a Dear John and flew off into Hyperspace

 

Now, I’m just a simple man with an innocent farm

But when my subsoiler turned into an arm

My mind came unhitched by what I still can’t believe

Man, this is the kind of news to make a good wife leave

I’m foamin’ at the mouth, this ain’t no tabloid

This ain’t no commercial for no Hasbro toy

Wanna’ know why my tractor went off to fight a war

And are the Autobots waging a battle to destroy the evil forces of-

MY CORN?!?!

My tractor is really a robot

I said, my tractor is really a robot

And my chicken coop might be an alien base

My John Deer wrote a Dear John and flew off into Hyperspace

 

This ain’t the optimal time, how’m I gonna’ mow?

I wish they woulda’ asked first, or maybe used a clone

Couldn’t they make a guy out of a jeep or a tape?

Instead my sweet tractor’s gone shiftin’ shapes

My tractor is really a robot

I said, my tractor is really a robot

And my chicken coop might be an alien base

My John Deer wrote a Dear John and flew off into Hyperspace

Advertisements
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: