Jeff Time: Day 22

I need to do something.  I mean, I need to get to the next thing.  I don’t know what that thing is right now but I’m trying to figure it out.  I’m thinking real hard.  I’ve been socially stagnant ever since I moved back to Texas.  I had a good community in Nashville and I haven’t been in a rush to start over here.  

It seems like the only thing to do would be to get into a church group.  That would be good but I know how those go.  You should probably start crossing days off of your week.  Sundays are gone.  Probably Mondays or Wednesdays too.  And you might wanna add another day just to be safe.

And I’m 29 years old and the main thing 29 year-olds try to do at churches (if they’re not married) is try to get married.   But I don’t want to do that.  I’m saving that for laaaaaaaaaaater on.  Is that still allowed?  And does it make me a freak?

Yuck.  There’s a conversation killer for you.  Let’s change the subject!

I really don’t know what to do.  I don’t want to get a job just like I don’t want to find a church, because there too will go my life.  My days will empty out wherever I am.  I know how I am with churches and jobs.  I stay forever until I go crazy or get banned…

So I need to go in a direction.  I need to go towards something.  I used to make goals but now I’m afraid of what goals do to you when you reach them.  They suck you dry, man!

 

I know, I know.  I should really loosen up here.  Having things happen in your life isn’t a bad thing.  Being busy is not a bad thing.  Having money and responsibility, those are both fine things.  

I had an idea once to figure out how many days I might have left to live.  The plan was to pick an age (I picked 70) and then subtract my current age and then multiply that number by 365 (because that’s how many days are in a year).  

I turn 30 on April, 14th of next year and I figured out that if I live to be 70 years-old, it would take me 14,600 days (from that day) to get there.  

It’s like a countdown.  If I die around 70 (and I might not make it that long) I have under 15,000 days to go.  

I’ve been wondering what that thought would do to me, like if it would wake me up to try to fulfill some greater life potential.  I don’t know if it’s doing that.  It’s just weird to think that everybody is going to die and their life is going to end up being exactly whatever it is or isn’t right now… does that make any sense?  I mean, after it’s over you really can’t back up and edit the thing.  You’ve got some time now if you’re lucky.

Just think of all the stuff you were hoping to accomplish with your life.  Do you remember that stuff?  How is that coming for you?  

I know that I still have things that I’d like to accomplish but I think I have given myself some grace.  I know that I can’t do everything.  I guess that’s the boring realist in me coming out.  I am wondering why it doesn’t bother me as much as it used to.  

I should end this blog with an assignment.

Okay, make a list of all the things you want to do before you die.  It can be anything from going somewhere to meeting somebody.  Maybe you just want to eat something or accomplish something.  Maybe it is a dream, maybe it is realistic.  Maybe there is only one thing.  Maybe there are 100’s or more.

Now that you know what you want to do with your life, are you?   Are you doing anything to get you closer to realizing those things?   And if not, then why?   Is it fear or maybe you think you’re too busy.   Maybe you just don’t care anymore.   Are you satisfied with your excuses?   

How would you feel if you died without doing that thing?  Yeah, you would be dead and unable to feel anything of course, but if you could look over your life and grade how you did, how would you score yourself?  Would you be proud of your life or would you be disappointed?  Are your dreams still possible or would it be wise to let them go?  Not everybody can play in the NFL or be the president after all.   But maybe your dream might be doable.  

Well, are you going to do it or not?

The clock is ticking and it isn’t showing any signs of slowing down…

Tick…

Tick…

Tick…

 

Hmm…

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