Jeff Time: Day 16

This is a list of things you will probably NEVER read about on this blog:

-Most anything sports related

-Juicy gossip

-Secrets about how to have awesome sex

-Where to get the best marijuana

-How to maintain a vehicle (from B.M.W. to slug bug I am completely useless)

-How to discipline your children

– How to manage money (or not spend it all on c.d.s and d.v.d.s and mochas)

-How to carve a pumpkin

-How to build a rocket ship out of every day household items

-How to maintain relationships (friendship/romantic/business, whatever)

-ANYTHING about Michael Jackson

-How to cook anything more difficult than Pop Tarts

-Where to get the best deals on back to school styles

-How to do complex math

-How to mix chemicals correctly

-How to grow plants

-How to take care of animals

-Who to vote for

-How to balance a checkbook

-How to give your ugly neighbor a makeover

-How to spend all of your money on something really stupid

-How to look and feel younger

-How to call people on a phone

-How to travel

-How to shoot things

-How to survive a bear attack

-How to stop using cocaine

-Information about who is dating who

-Anything about somebody who used to be skinny but is fat now

-Any surprise announcement about somebody being gay now

-Information about how to maintain relationships with annoying people

-Anything about the fear of Communism in America

-How to lose 10 pounds before bikini season

-How to talk to teens about sex

-How to be patriotic

-How to like and keep a job you don’t like and want to quit

-How to build a floating boat

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