Jeff Time: Day 8

All I’m good at most days is talking about myself.  I just love discussing me.  I’m such a rich topic.  I never know what I’m going to do next and I really keep myself on the edge of my seat.  Wow.

I know what I mean.  I don’t even have to talk to know what I mean.  That’s one of the other benefits of being me.  I can be quiet and still enjoy myself.  Other people have to listen to me talk to enjoy me, but not me.  How sad it must be for them to be stuck inside their own lives and not in mine like I am.  I would bet real gold that they have a hard time getting through their days without envying me…

I’m so glad that I’m me and not some other, less enjoyable person.  Gosh, I don’t even want to think about that.  It would be so depressing to wake up in the morning and see a different face in the mirror.  

My face is like home to me.

Ha ha.  Just listen to me talking about myself so cleverly (go ahead, read it all again if you want…)  I am so funny.  I should have a blog.  Oh wait!  I do have a blog!  Ha ha.  What a riot these thoughts of mine are.  Living inside of my mind is a full-time adventure.  The party never stops with me.  Look out!  Turn up the stereo and dance around a little because here I am just doing my thang.  

Wait a second. What’s going on here?  

I am going on here.

No, but seriously, I was wanting to talk about a very important part of me.  My hair.  I just cleaned it.  Well, not technically.  I took a shower and put my head under the water but that’s beside the point.  

My hair is disappearing from my head and I think I have decided that I’m not going to fight it with any tricks.  I’m going to let myself go bald the old fashioned way.  I don’t want to do the fake hair thing.  I’m going to face this with courage.  I will learn to love my bald spot (and the color of my bare head).  I will convince myself that having lesser hair is the way of the future and live in a small self-created world where this is considered true.

I will brainwash my vanity out of myself and celebrate the stranger and stranger shape of my hairline.  I will take up swimming to take advantage of my sleek scalp.  I will start a mens club that only accepts the naturally balding.  Our meetings will be the hot ticket in town and all of the other guys will literally be pulling their hair out to try to get in.  Even the “wiggers” will think twice about their surgically implanted or sprayed-on peach fuzz.

BALD MEN UNITE!! 

Let’s show these wooly mammoths what we’re naturally made of!!!

(We are gonna win)

 

100_0922

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