Jeff Time: Day 7

Wow, it’s Jeff Time again and I have to admit that I am not feeling this today.  

I’m tired.  I’m kind of sick of my own “quirky” humor”.  Know what I mean?  You know that feeling of when you wake up and it’s a new day and you just don’t wanna be in the same life that you’ve been in?  I think that’s how I’m feeling.  

I was thinking about this earlier while journaling a little:

“I’m taking it easy today.  I think one of the major obstacles a writer faces being annoyed with himself or herself.  I don’t want to think about myself today.  I don’t really like myself today.  I don’t think what I have to say today should be forced on anybody.  I wish I lived in a cave.  I wish my pen had no ink in it.  I wish no one would listen to me today.

I don’t need the attention.  I don’t need another meaningful conversation.  I don’t need new friends.  I don’t need to tend to stale old relationships.  I don’t need the responsibility or the confusing guilt of it.  I don’t need the questions or the paranoia.  I don’t need the observers.  I don’t need an audience to listen to my whining.  I want to be consistent with my writings but I want to be left alone.

It’s like being commited to maintaining a conversation when you want nothing but to keep your mouth tightly shut. It’s a weird thing because on one hand I want to be glad and thankful that what I do has meaning to people but then it is like a never-ending responsibility.  Sometimes I just don’t want to deal with it.  I don’t want to be seen the way I’m seen by the people who look.  And I don’t want to spend so much of my time afraid and on guard.  I haven’t figured out how to get around this stuff yet so I guess I just have to deal with it.”

Okay, my blog has turned into a melodrama today.  I was wanting to maintain a hip snappiness.  Well that sucks.

Uh, I do have a video for you guys though.  I was pretending like my blog was The Real World and this was my confession time:

And here is another bathroom performance of a song from Digital Dreams called “How I Got Free”:

Lyrics:

How I Got Free

Well, I had never felt so good

So long I felt so bad I would 

Go hiding anywhere I could

But now my life feels like it should

And freedom comes with such a mystery

Why did it take so long to get to me?

I did everything I knew to do it right

Maybe now it won’t be such a fight

And oh, the feeling I feel

So alive like a perfect chill

Electrifying my old bones

There’s no other feeling I wanna know

So tell me the story of how I got here

Tell me again to keep it clear

The only story I hold dear

About how I got free

 

I am screaming in the night time

It’s like I’m stuck drunk on this wine

There’s no other joy quite like this kind

And it’s becoming all that I am

Flooding all my thoughts and senses

Life like this is so delicious

It’s like all I feel is kisses

And it never stops

And oh, the feeling I feel

So alive like a perfect chill

Electrifying my old bones

There’s no other feeling I wanna know

So tell me the story of how I got here

Tell me again to keep it clear

The only story I hold dear

About how I got free

 

I am frying in this skillet

I don’t know if anybody else can feel it

This is free and I know you wanna steal it

But it’s already yours

So take it with you everywhere you go

Spread it around so everybody will know

There’s no longer such a thing as alone

So goodbye that old life

And oh, the feeling I feel

So alive like a perfect chill

Electrifying my old bones

There’s no other feeling I wanna know

So tell me the story of how I got here

Tell me again to keep it clear

The only story I hold dear

About how I got free

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