The Twilight Time Period

Oh man, yesterday was the weirdest day.  I mean night. It was the weirdest night.  

I woke up at 5 in the afternoon.  Seriously.  I sat on my bed and read a little and then my dad and stepmother were eating meatloaf so I had meatloaf and Dr. Pepper for breakfast.  It was pretty good.

Soon it started to get dark outside but the color of the sky could have been dawn instead of dusk like it was.  So I tried to pretend that it was the morning.  

I was going to walk to a Starbucks so I could fill out some more applications and I needed to balance my checkbook after purchasing some dvds at Blockbuster the previous night.  Anyway it started raining just as I was leaving so my stepmother let me borrow her car so I wouldn’t get soaked.

As I drove down the street I looked at all the cars and thought about how everybody else had probably woke up about 12 hours before me and it was very much like being in an episode of The Twilight Zone (which is ironic because it was the twilight time of the day).

I got to the Starbucks and that place was kind of nuts.  It was one of the strangest Starbucks that I’ve ever been to.  They recently built it and it’s right between the train tracks and a donut shop.  I walked in and the girl at the counter was having a flirty-looking conversation with some guy so the other barista (a guy who was seriously wearing a kilt) was like, “What’ll you be having tonight, man?!”

I was like, “Do you guys make o’leis?  Or… you know… coffee and…”

“Steamed milk?  Absolutely, brother!  Let me get it started for you!”

Then I added, “Oh, can you put some chocolate in there too?”

“Like a mocha?  You got it!  Whip?”

“Whip?  Yes, please.  Thanks.”

“No problemo man!”

So I went and sat down and then the guy asked me from all the way across the room, “DID YOU WANT THAT FOR HERE, MAN?   LIKE IN A CERAMIC MUG?”

“THAT’S FINE!   THANKS!   I’M REALLY NOT THAT PICKY!  WHATEVER IS FINE!”

“RIGHT ON!  COMIN’ RIGHT UP!   YOU’RE GONNA LOVE IT!  I’M MAKING IT SPECIAL FOR YOU, MAN!”

“THANKS, THAT’S GREAT!  I APPRECIATE IT!  THAT’S NICE OF YOU!”

“NO WORRIES MY MAN!”

So I sat in the comfy chair and pulled out some paper to do some math and all I could do was overhear the conversations around me.  One lady was talking to a guy.

“… I cain’t remembur whut hymn this guy sung but you gotta’ go to this church down the road and… whut you really needa do is go to the website ‘n find this sermin from two thousand eight.  It’ll blow yer mind, I swair.”

Then this guy was like, “I played bass in a praise band at a church for a while but now I work fifty hours a week at (somewhere)…”

It was the freakiest Starbucks and I saw on the door that they were hiring so I filled out an application.

After that I came back to my dad’s house and ate some cereal and watched the very last part of Conan’s second show.  I missed the first one and I haven’t gotten to the website to watch it yet.  

After Conan Jimmy Fallon had both Steve Martin and Paul Simon on.  It was pretty unbelievable.  I guess Steve and Paul have known each other for a long time so half of the show was just those two guys talking to each other and it made for some very entertaining television.

After that I flipped over to The Office which I am trying like mad to get caught up on.  That show is painfully funny.  I watch it in disbelief at how smart and hilarious it is.  I think I just found Jenna Fischer on twitter and I’m now following her (is that weird?  Probably).  Maybe I should try to follow Rainn Wilson too, just to be fair.

Also, I watched a couple episodes of King of the Hill.  They have the first two seasons of it at Target right now for only fifteen dollars.   I said FIFTEEN dollars.  I remember not getting into that show at first and then I started to realize how striking it’s portrayal of Texas is.  I would watch episodes and think that real people that I’ve known had somehow been turned into cartoon characters.  That show’s brilliance is in the details for sure.  I think a lot of people look past that.

Okay it’s almost 8 a.m. now and WAY past my bedtime.  I think I need to catch some shut eye.  

Don’t worry about me though.  I have formulated a foolproof plan for how I am going to get back into a normal sleeping schedule.  Instead of trying to go to sleep at a normal hour and spend the whole night tossing and turning I am simply going to continue staying up later.  You see, eventually it will wrap all the way back around.  

5 am one night.  8 the next.  10 after that.  Then 1, 4, 7, 9, and 10:30.

It will only take me about a week to get back to being a normal person.  

I wish I’d known earlier it was this easy.

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