The Next Blog Entry

(Author’s note: I am saddened to inform some of you that this entry has nothing to do with a naked woman walking down the street. I checked my stats and learned that by putting “naked woman” in the title of one of my previous posts my web traffic multiplied by nearly 1,000 %. I may factor this into my writing in the future and try to write about more naked people. Thanks)

I’m at the public library in Watauga Texas. It’s about a five minute walk from my dad’s house. I still haven’t found a job yet (and I am still okay with this). I met up with an old friend Jared Brown yesterday. We have been friends since the summer of 1980. That’s the year we were born. It’s funny to be 29 and to hang out with someone you’ve known as a baby, a child, a teenager, a college student, a married man and now as a father preparing to work on a Ph.D in the next few years.

We got some coffee and caught up. It turns out we read a lot of similar authors. We are even both a little freaky about the Harry Potter books. This surprised me because much of Jared’s extended studies have been about Biblical theology. I guess I didn’t think he’d be hip to the wizrd and witchcraft stuff. Apparently he was turned onto the books by a fellow seminary student (or maybe it was a teacher, I can’t remember).

I had a lot to say today so I decided to write a normal blog instead of a miniature twitter blog. I have a habit of writing too many updates when I get on twitter. I always seem to think that everybody wants to hear about anything that has entered my brain in the previous hour.

When you get on twitter everything you say turns frantic. It’s like you have to say it all really quick and then it’s about leaving the room before you get annoying.

I am living at my dad’s house temporarily and my one complaint is that they are much too hospitable. Here are a few notes of advice for any of you older parents who have children near the age of 30 “passing through”:

1) DO NOT brew the grown adult coffee in the morning and provide them with their favorite coffee accessories such as hot chocolate and milk.
2) DO NOT make breakfast for the grown adult EVERY SINGLE MORNING (this causes the grown adult to feel too comfortable)
3) DO NOT offer to do the grown adult’s laundry.
4) DO NOT offer the grown adult free wireless internet.
5) DO NOT let the grown adult sleep in a giant comfy bed.
6) DO NOT invite the grown adult onto a family phone plan where the grown adult only has to pay 10 dollars a month for service. (And then DO NOT pay for the service yourself)

DO:
1) Give the grown adult difficult, back-breaking chores.
2) Make fun of the grown adult for being a “leech” on the hard working people of this world.

And more stuff…

Uh, anyway today I had some time to work on some of my more recent stories. I am at a point with them where I just don’t know if they are any good or if I am getting anywhere with them.

I sat down last night and tried to get really honest with myself about the state of one story in particular. I was thinking about the basic premise and trying to figure out if it was even interesting enough to explore deeper. There are parts of the story that are funny to me and I think the core idea is interesting but I am not sure if it can turn into a bigger, fuller story.

I realized that my confidence level is at a very low point right now. I feel a little cold as a writer. My smart ass side is way too nice right now. I keep thinking that I’m going to come up with boring and lame scenarios with very little bite or snap.

And I don’t know what’s going on totally. I think that a lot of what I’ve written over the years has been built on a certain imaginary foundation in my mind. And suddenly I’m finding that many of those foundations are not holding up to what I am trying to do now.

It’s almost as if I’m starting over as a writer and I am used to knowing what I am doing but I am suddenly feeling very undefined and I don’t know what I am trying to accomplish with my writing. I can’t figure out if it should be satirical or dramatic or straightforward or what. I feel a little dizzy creatively. I am not sure what angle to even come at some of the stories in my notebooks. I am not sure if I should even continue working on them.

It’s interesting to be back in the same area that I lived in a few years ago. I can definitely tell that I’ve changed a lot. I am absolutely not as restless as I was the last time I lived in Texas. I think that was pretty much a defining characteristic for me. I wanted OUT OF TEXAS. That was me for about 3 or 4 years before I eventually left.

Now I feel pretty peaceful about being here. I realize that much of what I am trying to do creatively is portable and can be done anywhere I can find a quiet room with an electrical outlet for my computer. I could be anywhere in the world, and that is an exciting thought for me. Nashville is cool but it’s not vital for me as a writer or songwriter.

I think I’ve known that but it is nice to get to experience the reality of it. It’s a freeing thing to realize you have absolutely zero dependance on something you thought you might have desperately needed for a time.

I think more than anything I was in a certain writing groove in Nashville before I left. Now I’m having to start over in some ways but it is causing me to have to make sense of what I got down on paper before the move.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at. That’s what’s going on.

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