Thoughts on Dumbing it Down

I seem to change my opinion of blogging daily.  It shifts with whatever mood I am in.  When I am not blogging I seem to be paranoid of whatever I said in a blog and wish that I could erase something while remembering that probably not many people are reading whatever I wrote.  

What bothers me right now… and this is probably not a normal thing to be bothered by… well, it has to do with how different everybody is.  When I was younger I thought that everybody was the same.  Or, I thought that we could all get along and a song could bring people together or something. Now, as crabby as it sounds that idea is so boring to me.  I don’t seem to feel the need to have a positive relationship with a lot of people… not that I am trying to have a negative one… I mean that I don’t think that I need to have much of any relationship with most people.  

I have all of these songs and some people know them and I realized that where I’m glad that they can connect to them, it doesn’t mean that I want to be stuck as the guy that has to sing them over and over again.  I usually just like to sing songs that I write one or two times and past that it turns into an act that feels stupid in a way.   I think it’s a reason why performing has always been a strange thing for me.  I am usually glad that people like a song or if it makes them feel happy but it can be a miserable thing to be standing there and to hear all of these infinite personal criticisms by a bunch of people who I don’t even know.  Everybody lets you know what they think and it seems like something that would make you feel so happy but for me it just wears me down to where I have learned how to block most everybody out and not take what people say very seriously.  

Is that even healthy?  I don’t know.. 

I think that people expect for songwriters to be simple.  To look good and say stuff that’s easy to swallow.  I just don’t think that’s me.  So I always want to apologize for writing complicated songs but then I have to remember that most people are geared to being spoken to like a 13 year-old.  And they also don’t seem to like using their brains.  So if I am writing music to be digested by fully formed adults… it just confuses a lot of people.  And then I feel guilty as an artist for attempting to be brave and ambitious.  I mean, how offensive can you get, you know?

 

(Okay, I’ve gotta’ run off.. I’ll try to complete my ramblings a little later.  Have a nice day)

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