Rambling Ever Deeper into Overthought

What’s regret?  What does it mean?  Is it looking at your life and wishing that it went a different way at some point.  You only live once, right? I think that I take more chances than the average guy but few of my friends these days are average and they all seem so much more braver than me.  At the rate I’m going my life will probably amount to me sitting someplace and drawing a circle in the sand for the next 50 years or so.  And I guess I’m trying to figure out if it’s what I want.

Growing up sucks!

Making big decisions sucks!

I just plug my ears.  You try to listen to people but either they are morons who you should just block out or they are wise people who’s opinions clash with the other wise people that you talk to.  And be careful if you ask people what they think because they will probably tell you.  Hmm… I wonder if that’s the reason I often want to run away or hide in a cave and never talk to people again… Hmm… seems like a good thing to ponder…

This is weird and I think that I’m on repeat here but I am still confused at why people in their right minds get married with their lives, and the fact that it is so common… it’s like an undiagnosed epidemic and not enough people seem bothered by it!  It’s like this widespread case of hypnosis where humans are going around binding themselves to each other (supposedly until one of them dies).  It happens at an alarming rate, people!  The rest of a life can be a LONG time!  

Does this seem psychopathic to anybody else?  Am I the only SANE ONE HERE?!?!  And did you know that this is all very normal these days?  It is actually looked at as a step up… wha-?!?!?!?  It makes me wonder how many zombie people can fit on this planet for real.  People just want to be addicted to each other.  It’s messed up!  They wanna keep talking to each other (on a daily basis!) and it’s like a plague and it seems as though nobody even knows how crazy and accepted it is!  Oh my gosh!  What a freaky world we live in (with people so nauseatingly close to each other!  Naaaaaasty!

I could live in a cave away from all of this madness 11 months out of the year and be so happy.  I would be so peaceful as long as I had some food and I wouldn’t care about all of the people who said I was an alien cave man.  It wouldn’t hurt my feelings as long as I couldn’t hear them talking.  I would have so much fun.  I would draw such cool pictures all of the time and be so happy.  People would think that I was a less hairy sasquatch with awesome pictures and I would be like, “This is a phone.  This is a T.V.. This is a car.  This is a shoe.  This is a toaster. This is a box.”  And they would clap uncontrolably and not know that I had 500 other drawings that were just as cool (if not cooler).  But I would stop at the toaster and the box because I know that everybody has a limit to how many awesome things that they can take in at a time. 

I have to slow down so they have time to process, you know?

Listen, I’m not trying to sound arrogant when I talk about how good I am at drawing.  I am not trying to rub it in anybody’s faces.  A fact is a fact, right?

If anybody would like for me to draw them a picture I have to say right away that I don’t know if I can.  It takes me a minute and while I really do enjoy drawing pictures I can’t draw everything.  If anybody would like to pay me to draw something you will probably automatically get to the front of the line.  And don’t make it too hard because as everybody knows some things are a lot more difficult to draw.  I will try to accept a challenge here and there.  Just know that I am not Superman.  I am only human and I am not a camera… I am just a man.  If you are looking for accuracy, take a picture.  I am pretty good at drawing straight lines and every once in a while I am good at drawing circles and things that look like boxes.  I am working on my three dimensional drawings but please do not hold me to an impossible standard here.  I will do my best.  

 

Hey listen, I’m just kidding about being anti-marriage.  I know that some of you are stuck in a lifetime commitment and I am just a know-nothing little blogger punk.  Wait, not “stuck”, I mean… you know… sitting pleasantly… 

I am not in any way trying to discourage “love” or whatever.  I know that some of you like all of that chocolates and flowers romance crap.  Stuff.  I know how your spouses give your lives meaning and all.  All I am saying is that I cannot relate very well, you know?  I mean, don’t you get tired of looking at each other and smelling each other?  Doesn’t it get bland after a while?  I’m just sayin’…

I bet you people are always doing puzzles and playing card games and stuff like that.  I bet you’re always sitting there watching t.v. and eating food together and vacuuming… I mean, I don’t know.  

I guess all I’m trying to say here is that I am a free man and I can pretty much go anywhere I want when I want and I don’t have to answer to anybody or tell anybody when I’m going to Kroger or what I’m gonna buy and I can pretty much go on a walk at 4 in the morning and listen to whatever music I want to and nobody makes me listen to stupid music I don’t like and I get to do whatever I want so boo ya’!  And when I have twenty dollars I don’t even think about buying some food or diaper for anybody else and I’m like, “Hmm… maybe I’ll buy whatever food I want and not care what anybody says because this is MY LIFE!!!!”  And I don’t have to go around telling everybody how my life changed when some baby came into the world or whatever.  Who cares!   

I don’t have any kids and my life is PERFECT ALREADY!!!!!!

(Yes, you are allowed to live vicariously through me… I am used to it these days… you’re welcome…)

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