I’m thinking about starting another blog.  I mean, in addition to this blog.  But if I do it will be a secret for a while.  I won’t let anybody know about it.  I have an idea for it but I can’t say anything just yet.  Sorry.

Guess what I’m going to do tonight?  Just try (I bet you can’t guess).

….

….

Okay, I’ll tell you.  I’m going to watch the movie Sneakers with the audio commentary track on.  

Was that your guess?  If so, you are pretty good.

Okay, I was going to leave it at that because I couldn’t think of anything else to say.  But then I thought that I might be jipping you on Jeff Time.  So I’ll talk some more.

Uh, did you hear they are making another sequel to Three Men and a Baby?  It’s going to be called Three Men and a Bride.  I bet it’s the same girl.  

Didn’t the first movie inspire Full House?   And this movie sounds like Fathers of the Bride.  I don’t even remember what happened in the last one, Three Men and a Little Lady.  The baby was like five years old.  

I guess they passed on Three Men and a Teenager.  Maybe that would’ve been weird.  I bet that girl is sick of those guys by now.  Another possible name for a sequel would be Four Men and a Baby or Three Men and Two Babies and Four Women or Three Men and Four Brides and Seventeen Kids and One Grandparent.  I’d be curious to see some of those.

I rented four books from the library but I doubt I’ll read any of them.  I used to think I would read every book I checked out.  But then I checked one out.  Now I know better.  

I was sick this whole week, since Saturday.  I’m getting better now but I have been stuck in bed the whole time.  I’ve been asleep for most of the last 48 hours.  I would go to sleep at 8 pm and then wake up at 1 in the morning.  Then I’d go back to sleep and wake up at 7 and then go back to sleep and wake up and 1 and then go back to sleep.  

I couldn’t tell if I was being lazy or if I really needed the rest.  I think I did.  I was wiped out.  Being sick is confusing.  All last Saturday I thought I could out think it somehow.  I kept thinking to myself, “Wait, I didn’t plan this!”  But that didn’t help.  All I could do was lay down, take medicine and drink fluids.  I don’t know what it was.  I thought it was the flu.  My stepmother Brenda was being extra cautious not to catch it.  But two nights ago she had to go to the doctor.  They said it wasn’t the flu that she had but some kind of viral lung thing.  So now she’s stuck in bed too.  (Please say a prayer)

Okay, well I’ve gotta go watch Sneakers now.  Talk to everybody later.

Today was a good day.  I found a bunch of neat music to listen to.  It was mostly on N.P.R.’s website.  I didn’t get any podcasts today but those too  have been occupying a lot of my time.

I wanted to put a link to a few things I’ve listened to that I have enjoyed:

Guest DJ Randy Newman- This is a radio show where singer/songwriter Randy Newman talks about his inspirations.  Very good stuff.  I think there might even be a whole concert with Randy Newman on the N.P.R. website.  I’m gonna go look for it after I finish this (important) blog.

Guest DJ Thom Yorke- This is the same radio show only with Thom Yorke (the lead singer for Radiohead).  I’ve listened to this about 8 times now.  It’s freaking freaking freaking freaking cool.  It’s fun to hear what he listens to and what music makes him excited.

First Listen: R.E.M. Live at the Olympia-   This won’t be up forever but this week you can listen to R.E.M.’s new live record.  It’s only 39 songs.  Only. And they are saying that it isn’t like a Greatest Hits kind of thing.  It’s more for people who have been listening to the band for a long time.  They play a bunch of older and rarer material.

And these are 2 podcasts about screenwriting that I listen to.  Both are available on itunes:

On the Page- I was looking through itunes to find a good podcast a while back.  I found this one and now I’m on the 108th episode.  It’s about the craft and business of screenwriting and it’s hosted by a screenwriting instructor in Hollywood named Pilar Alessandra.  It’s very easy to listen to and there is so much valuable information packed into the episodes.  The link actually goes to her website.  I think you can find the podcast from there.  It’s really fun to listen to from a geeky, writer perspective.

Creative Screenwriting Magazine Podcast- I’ve been listening to so much stuff about screenwriting.  If you’re into that kind of thing, this is another really cool podcast.  They interview the writers of different movies.  I’ve been impressed with the people they get on the podcasts.  I’ve listened to interviews with the Coen Brothers, Peter Jackson and some other very interesting filmmakers.  It’s neat to hear them talk about how they came up with their movies.  

Okay, I think that’s all I’m gonna do today.  Those links are random but if you follow them they could take up a lot of your time.  Have fun.

Question:  Do you have anything to say right now?

Answer:  No, not really.

Question:  Then why are you blogging?

Answer:  I’m not sure.  I thought about my blog and wanted to write something.  I can’t say that’s a good reason.  

Question:  Why do you assume that people need to hear you blab right now?

Answer:  Gosh, I don’t know.  I don’t think they need to… Maybe… maybe it will be worthwhile for them in some way that I cannot predict.  That’s what I normally bank on.  The “accidental enjoyment of strangers”, you see.

Question:  What do you think makes a blog “worthwhile”?

Answer:  Well, I want to say that a blog is worthwhile when it’s informative and you can learn something from it.  Sometimes I think people are just bored and will read anything you put in front of their face.  And not that it justifies it.  People read a lot of junk and seem to be pretty okay about it.  They listen to junk just as quickly as they stuff their faces with junk food.  So, if the quality of the blogs starts to go South, well as long as I’m distracting them with style, the audience could care less what I talk about.  I don’t know how picky the average reader is.  I often think that if they follow a link all the way to a blog, then they might just read the thing.  And it’s their business if they like what they hear, I guess.

Question:  Just who do you think actually reads your blog, man?

Answer:  Oh, gosh.  I don’t know.  It could be anybody or nobody.  It could be a family member or the President.  I really have no way of knowing.  I’m assuming that in all honesty, it’s a person that I either worked with or went to school or church with at one point.   Those are the main people I know.  I mean, I’ve met a lot of people in my life but I think a very small percentage of them would travel across the internet to read a blog I wrote, know what I’m sayin’?

Question:  Sure.  I guess.  

Answer:  Wait a second.  Who is this?!  Why are you asking me all these questions?  What is this, an interrogation!?

Question:  No.  No, you have the wrong idea, man!  I’m just trying to give you constructive criticism, that’s all… you know… to make your blog better and everything..

Answer:  Well, for a minute there it felt like you were trying to dig up something that wasn’t even there, if you catch my drift.  

Question:  Drift caught.  And I apologize if my interviewing techniques rubbed you the wrong way.  That wasn’t my intention.  I have to admit that I am new to this and I did feel that I was crossing a personal line with my questions.  In all honesty, I’m glad that you spoke up before things got more out of hand.

Answer:  I’m just trying to be careful here.  I mean, I can’t see you or anything.  I have no idea who is asking me these questions.  I feel like I’m talking to myself, man!

Question:  Well, are you?  Talking to yourself, I mean.

Answer:  Gosh, why do you have to ask me that?  Just when I was starting to feel better about myself you have to go and ask me if I’m talking to myself.  I don’t talk to myself.  No.  There’s your answer.  There you go.  Take that to the presses!  But I bet you twist the story around to make it more interesting!  Just go and get filthy rich telling people that I’m talking to myself!  That’s fine with me!  What do I care if people think I talk to myself?!   I don’t care!   That’s fine!!

Question:   CHILL OUT, MAN.  Just CALM down… It’s gonna be O-kay, okay?

Answer:  Who do you write for, man?  Just answer me that much.  Just let me know what tabloid you work for?!

Question:  Hey hey hey hey!  Come on, bra.  Easy with the emotion.  We’re both grown ups here.  We can settle this like men.  Right?  Am I right or am I right?

Answer:  Oh… so you’re a man, huh?  Well that narrows this whole mystery down quite a bit!  Now that I know you’re a man I can cross off you being a female or even an inquisitive little boy.  Hmm… I wonder how old you are… 

Question:  Hey, who’s interviewing who here?!  You can’t turn your questions on me!!  I’M the one with the questions!!!  You’re just a freaky blogger!!!

Answer:  Wha-!   Well I neve-… I-  I can’t believe you just said that.  After I’ve been so polite to you this whole time!   You have no decency.  Maybe I like my blog!  Maybe I was just fine without all of your input!   What do you know about blogs?!?!

Question:  I-  I’m a blogger too… I’m just like you…  I’m in the same boat…

Answer:  What?  You’re a blogger?   Just like me?   You have a blog too!   I can’t believe this…  I-  I’m so sorry.  I didn’t know I was talking to someone just like me.  I didn’t know we were the same kind of person… and both guys.  I didn’t know all of this when this conversation began..  (to self) I’ve spoken so quickly and callously… and to a person not very different from myself…

Question:  No.  I should have been more clear.  It was unfair of me to pounce on you with those questions.  I’m not even an interviewer.  I’m nobody.  I’m just a blogger trying to figure out how to have a better blog, that’s all…  The reason… the reason I was asking you all of those questions wasn’t so I could exploit you.  I asked the questions… (sniff)  I asked the questions because I wanted to learn.  I thought that you could teach me… about how to blog better.  That’s all…

Answer:  It’s so embarrassing to be me now after hearing all of this information.  It just reveals who I really am… I’m just a paranoid blogger… I’m afraid of questions… I need to work through these issues…

Questions:  No.  Don’t feel bad.  I think you have a great blog.  I’ve always admired your blog.

Answer:  What?  No.  Do you mean that?  Are you just saying that now to get on my good side after all we’ve been talking about?

Question:  No, man.  I believe in this blog.  I wouldn’t have asked you those questions if I didn’t feel that I needed the answers myself…  You… you are my inspiration…  I’m sorry, I’m normally not this honest.  I blog because you showed me the way to blog…  I love your blog.

Answer:  You love my blog?  How can I not think of you as a friend after the words you just said.  No.  How can I not think of you… as a brother…?

Question:  A brother?  What?  You think of me as a brother?!   (to self)  I never had a brother before…

Answer:  We are brothers.  Figuratively for now, though hopefully time will tell the true nature of our relationship…  We are brother bloggers.  If we had a joint website it would be called “Brother Bloggers dot com” and we would help each other make it the best blog in the world…

Question:  You paint a beautiful mental picture… brother… (to self) I sure do like the sound of that…    

Answer:  It’s strange to me that when we were talking before, I thought that perhaps I was talking to myself.  When in fact, I was talking to my brother.  I was talking to a completely different person though we have the same mother and father and blood, in theory.  Two people very close to being one person, but still two people… wow…

Question:  Now that we have decided that we are brothers and both fully grown men, I can’t help but wonder which of us is older… or if… wouldn’t it be wild if we were… twins?!

Answer:  Wild but not surprising this late in such a revelatory conversation… tell me, when were you born, brother?

Question:  I was born on April 14, 1980.

Answer:  Well, either you are lying to me… or we are in fact not only brothers but TWINS!!!  WE ARE TWINS, BROTHER!!!

Questions:  Well, we must have been separated at birth!!  We have to celebrate!!!  It’s not every day that one finds his long lost brother who also happens to be his TWIN!!!  

Answer:  You’re right.  It would be wrong to not celebrate tonight.  We should go somewhere special.  Where do you want to go brother?  You decide.

Question:  I know that some would choose a high class restaurant to celebrate finding their long lost twin brother but… since you are my brother after all, I feel that I can be honest with you…  

Answer:  Go ahead brother… I cannot judge blood… what restaurant are you thinking about?

Question:  If I could go anywhere tonight… it would be… it would be Chili’s…

Answer:  There’s only one right way for me to reply to that:   I LOVE CHILI’S!!!   Chili’s would be PERFECT!!!   Let’s go!   

Question:  Wonderful!   Uh, one question… is it okay if you drive?  I don’t have a car right now…

Answer:  Oh… you don’t have a car?  Uh…  I was actually counting on you having a car… I too don’t have a car…

Question:  Hmm… Well… uh… I have to admit that this was not a coincidence I was hoping for.  But this is our reality… How are we going to get to Chili’s?

Answer:  I guess we could walk there… but… uh.. brother, I have to tell you something else…

Question:  Oh, okay… well, go ahead, I’m ready.

Answer:  I don’t have any money right now and I might need you to pay for me… is that okay… brother?

Question:  Uh… well… I mean… it would be okay… only, I don’t have any money either… I was hoping that you could buy me something too… this is… this is pretty ironic, huh?  

Answer:  We seem to continue having things in common… at times it is a great thing… but at other times, like this… I wish that we could depend on each other…  chips and salsa was starting to sound very good to me..

Question:  Yeah, me too..  We were similar in that way too…   

Answer:  Listen, I want to tell you something else about me.  Some other bit of unfathomable news.  I may be poor but I’m resourceful.  I do not see this as an end.  This is our chance, as freshly-reunited twin brothers, to work together to make our joint brotherhood stronger than if we were alone.  We must put our heads together to figure out how to celebrate this great, once-in-two-lifetimes day!!

Question:  You are right, twin brother!!  You are so consistently right, it seems!  At every turn in this conversation you seem to always be right.  I have to admit that it is refreshing to be around a person with such a high level of logic and… well, charm.  I think it’s okay to say that.

Answer:   I am not offended.  Well, let me think about it for a second… (thinking)… No.  I’m not offended.  

Question:  Well, getting back to the matter at hand.  I can’t think of how to celebrate this night… 

Answer:  Me neither… what do you normally do when you can’t figure out what to do next?

Question:  I play solitaire.

Answer:  Me too.  I play solitaire when I can’t think of anything else to do, also.

Question:  Well, that’s obviously what we should do.. But… twin brother, tell me this:  How are we supposed to play solitaire since we are two people?

Answer:  That is a great question.

It’s country song day on the blog!!

Here are two songs.  Have a great day.

I Tried To Marry Your Wife

I tried to marry your wife

Mighta’ freaked her out a couple different times

Woulda’ read her poems on the phone

But she never picked it up

So, how’d you get her?  I swear I’d love to know

Did you swoon her?  I took things slow

Do you suffer like I gladly woulda’?

Do you love her like I knew I coulda’?

I prayed and prayed and prayed and lost

I acted like bait but I couldn’t get caught

She never gave me a chance

(Or maybe she did)

How’d you get her, I swear I’d love to know

Did you swoon her?  I took things slow

Do you suffer like I gladly woulda’?

Do you love her like I knew I coulda’?

Next time, before my woman marries another man

I’ll think quicker through my situation

And formulate some sorta’ foolproof plan

But you know, I never even kissed her

I had so much I never did deliver

Why when I had her in my trap

Did I have to take a nap?

How’d you get her, I swear I’d love to know

Did you swoon her?  I took things slow

Do you suffer like I gladly woulda’?

Do you love her like I knew I coulda’?

My Tractor is Really a Robot

Well, last week when I was in the pasture

Trimmin’ the cornstalk all like normal

I heard some sorta’ beepin’ and some metal rattlin’

I’m tellin’ you the truth   man, I ain’t tattlin’

Now, I did me about 3 double takes

That’s 6 shocked looks for Willie-Nelson’s-sake

‘Cuz my crop hauler was standing 30 feet tall

No, I ain’s sniffin’ Ethanol, I know what I saw

My tractor is really a robot

I said, my tractor is really a robot

And my chicken coop might be an alien base

My John Deer wrote a Dear John and flew off into Hyperspace

Now, I’m just a simple man with an innocent farm

But when my subsoiler turned into an arm

My mind came unhitched by what I still can’t believe

Man, this is the kind of news to make a good wife leave

I’m foamin’ at the mouth, this ain’t no tabloid

This ain’t no commercial for no Hasbro toy

Wanna’ know why my tractor went off to fight a war

And are the Autobots waging a battle to destroy the evil forces of-

MY CORN?!?!

My tractor is really a robot

I said, my tractor is really a robot

And my chicken coop might be an alien base

My John Deer wrote a Dear John and flew off into Hyperspace

This ain’t the optimal time, how’m I gonna’ mow?

I wish they woulda’ asked first, or maybe used a clone

Couldn’t they make a guy out of a jeep or a tape?

Instead my sweet tractor’s gone shiftin’ shapes

My tractor is really a robot

I said, my tractor is really a robot

And my chicken coop might be an alien base

My John Deer wrote a Dear John and flew off into Hyperspace

I need to do something.  I mean, I need to get to the next thing.  I don’t know what that thing is right now but I’m trying to figure it out.  I’m thinking real hard.  I’ve been socially stagnant ever since I moved back to Texas.  I had a good community in Nashville and I haven’t been in a rush to start over here.  

It seems like the only thing to do would be to get into a church group.  That would be good but I know how those go.  You should probably start crossing days off of your week.  Sundays are gone.  Probably Mondays or Wednesdays too.  And you might wanna add another day just to be safe.

And I’m 29 years old and the main thing 29 year-olds try to do at churches (if they’re not married) is try to get married.   But I don’t want to do that.  I’m saving that for laaaaaaaaaaater on.  Is that still allowed?  And does it make me a freak?

Yuck.  There’s a conversation killer for you.  Let’s change the subject!

I really don’t know what to do.  I don’t want to get a job just like I don’t want to find a church, because there too will go my life.  My days will empty out wherever I am.  I know how I am with churches and jobs.  I stay forever until I go crazy or get banned…

So I need to go in a direction.  I need to go towards something.  I used to make goals but now I’m afraid of what goals do to you when you reach them.  They suck you dry, man!

I know, I know.  I should really loosen up here.  Having things happen in your life isn’t a bad thing.  Being busy is not a bad thing.  Having money and responsibility, those are both fine things.  

I had an idea once to figure out how many days I might have left to live.  The plan was to pick an age (I picked 70) and then subtract my current age and then multiply that number by 365 (because that’s how many days are in a year).  

I turn 30 on April, 14th of next year and I figured out that if I live to be 70 years-old, it would take me 14,600 days (from that day) to get there.  

It’s like a countdown.  If I die around 70 (and I might not make it that long) I have under 15,000 days to go.  

I’ve been wondering what that thought would do to me, like if it would wake me up to try to fulfill some greater life potential.  I don’t know if it’s doing that.  It’s just weird to think that everybody is going to die and their life is going to end up being exactly whatever it is or isn’t right now… does that make any sense?  I mean, after it’s over you really can’t back up and edit the thing.  You’ve got some time now if you’re lucky.

Just think of all the stuff you were hoping to accomplish with your life.  Do you remember that stuff?  How is that coming for you?  

I know that I still have things that I’d like to accomplish but I think I have given myself some grace.  I know that I can’t do everything.  I guess that’s the boring realist in me coming out.  I am wondering why it doesn’t bother me as much as it used to.  

I should end this blog with an assignment.

Okay, make a list of all the things you want to do before you die.  It can be anything from going somewhere to meeting somebody.  Maybe you just want to eat something or accomplish something.  Maybe it is a dream, maybe it is realistic.  Maybe there is only one thing.  Maybe there are 100’s or more.

Now that you know what you want to do with your life, are you?   Are you doing anything to get you closer to realizing those things?   And if not, then why?   Is it fear or maybe you think you’re too busy.   Maybe you just don’t care anymore.   Are you satisfied with your excuses?   

How would you feel if you died without doing that thing?  Yeah, you would be dead and unable to feel anything of course, but if you could look over your life and grade how you did, how would you score yourself?  Would you be proud of your life or would you be disappointed?  Are your dreams still possible or would it be wise to let them go?  Not everybody can play in the NFL or be the president after all.   But maybe your dream might be doable.  

Well, are you going to do it or not?

The clock is ticking and it isn’t showing any signs of slowing down…

Tick…

Tick…

Tick…

Hmm…

I think I’m figuring out that my favorite thing about a laptop is that you can turn it off and put it in a room on the opposite side of the house any time you want to.

My computer is usually laying on the floor right next to my bed and I think that might be a bad place to keep the thing.  It seems healthy to have it further than arm’s reach.  It’s too easy to pick up your computer at any moment for any reason. 

I have a thing where after every movie I watch I will go to a website and read reviews.  Or, at any time during the day when I have a question about anything in the world (from a random definition to how to make eggs over easy) I will just pick up my computer and start googling and youtubing.

Honestly it is an addiction.  And I’m not trying to be funny.  My computer is like my third arm.  And that’s just sad.  

I put my computer in a storage room next to the garage for a few days just to see if I would be able to survive without being able to wikipedia every single thought that entered my brain.   It was an interesting experience.  I felt like a feening alcoholic.  I thought about making myself patches.  This is my five-day-no-computer patch.  This is my month patch…

The thing that sucks is I use my computer for so many things.  I have a lot of my music on it.  I have tons of pictures and Word files.  I have videos.  And then I use it to write my blog.  So most everything productive that I do uses the computer.  It’s also the main way I keep in touch with people (I think I get about 2 calls a week).

I was wondering the other day what would happen if it broke and I’m not sure if I would care at this point.  I would look at it as a gift from God.  And I would be thankful. 

I haven’t had a job since May and all I have been doing is writing.  I made a stack just a minute ago:

Having writings is both exciting and a headache.  Now I’ve got to figure out what to do with it all.  And I might not do anything with the stuff.  Every time I read through the pages I start thinking it might be better to spare the world from any more of my thoughts.  Out of respect of course.  I promise, if you ever think that you are an intelligent person you should try to write a book.  No matter how easy you think it sounds it is not!  It’s probably not too different from trying to balance a cruise ship on your head.  

Actually, I think my main problem is that I have been trying way too hard.  I’ve been writing five pages a day for a while now and I’m glad that I’m fulfilling my goal but just because you write five pages a day doesn’t mean those pages are going to be any good.  I think I spent a bulk of my writing just whining and feeling sorry for myself.  And that sucks because I don’t think it would help anybody.   I just sound like a crazy guy who talks to myself.  And even if that might be who I really am, does that mean it’s worth sharing with all of the innocent and upstanding people of the world?  Maybe I could give them a break..

I thought about ending my Jeff Time blogs with number 20.  Then I changed my mind.  And then I changed my mind again.  After which I changed my mind back.  

I may continue these things but I will probably put the computer on the opposite side of the house in between when I write them.

Okay, time to close the clamshell…  ta ta.

Crazy Crazy October

We were such a sexy and popular couple

Thinkin’ we would last forever

When I bought you that leather bra (I thought)

“This is what life is all about”

If I was a palm reader

I wouldn’t'na just held your hand

I woulda’ looked at it to figure out

What to do before our hour glass ran out of sand

Crazy crazy October

October was a crazy month

When October began

We couldn’t'na predicted how October was gonna end

I loved September

With its rainy days and such

But I knew what was falling harder:

Our Halloween month

That month still haunts me

More than ghosts and Frankensteins

Everyday now I have to wear a costume

Just so I can hide

Crazy crazy October

October was a crazy month

When October began

We couldn’t'na predicted how October was gonna end

I want my month back    

Hooo ooo oooo

I want my month back

Hooo ooo oooo

BONUS OLDER VIDEO:

Question:  Jeff, why do you do “Jeff Time”?

Thanks for the question.  Well, a blog is a strange thing because it can be done for many different reasons.  A lot of people blog as a hobby and then there are many who blog as part of their job.

I guess I am doing this as a hobby for now.  I’m not making money from this or anything.  And no, I don’t think that makes me a purer person.  Poorer maybe, not purer.  But then, perhaps being poor has a way of purifying you too (hmm, that’s a topic is for another blog…).

I’m actually trying to get to the bottom of my intentions myself.  They are vague to me too.  I know that I enjoy writing.  That’s not a secret if you are somebody who has read this blog or listened to my music.  I enjoy having a place where I can work on my craft and have it available for people who want to read it.  It’s an outlet.  It’s a platform.  It’s an always-available open mic.  And who wouldn’t want that?

I never know how official it is though.  I’ve always been sort of afraid to make money with my writing.  Or at least hesitant about it.  Once there is money coming in you start to feel responsible to the people who are paying you.  And that is not a responsibility I normally enjoy.

It’s funny because I remember when I first started writing it was very much a sort of personal search for me.  I wanted to learn how to think for myself and come to my own conclusions about things.  I didn’t want to just think or believe anything blindly.

I think the more I questioned things the more my questions would turn back around to myself.  And I most definitely have gone through periods of extreme arrogance where I think I know everything there is to know.  Of course that kind of thinking seems to eventually always come back to haunt you when you realize that you are a human being just like everybody you are jumping to criticize.  It seems there normally is a plank of wood hanging from my own eye when I’m shaking my finger at the sawdust in another’s (to put it biblically).  

Arrogance can be a tricky thing to maintain, especially if you know a lot of honest people who aren’t afraid to give you a little kick in the behind anytime you get out of line.  And luckily (or painfully) for me, I have a lot of people who care for me and are quick to preach at me whenever I start going a little crooked.  And let me tell you, that can be annoying!  And it might be a big reason for why I really enjoy  s  p  a  c  e.

I am someone who speaks his mind and it DEFINITELY inspires others to speak their minds right back at me.  Me, I get preached at in quadraphonic surround sound…

So, at the bottom of all this I am probably blogging more for selfish reasons than anything else.  I like to run my mouth but I don’t like to annoy people (and those two things don’t normally mix very well).  Having a little corner on the internet where I can really cut loose seems to keep me in good shape.

And I have tried repeatedly to maintain certain themes for long periods of time but that is not something I do too easily.  Meaning that I myself never know what I’m going to talk about from day to day.  I’m a wanderer by nature.  And my brain can travel on it’s own at light speeds (or at a snail pace sometimes, I have to say).  I used to think I would settle on drawing pictures or discussing religious stuff or just talk about music but it changes all the time.

I don’t know if that’s an apology or just an admission of the facts.

I have decided recently though to quit trying to plan things too much because no matter where I hope to aim each day, I ALWAYS wander off topic.  I can put my full trust in that happening.  And when you do that kind of thing you really do spend a lot of your time praying that whatever junk you just rambled about will somehow be good or helpful for people to read.

Another way to put it is that I have decided to “write how the Spirit leads”.  And that’s a capital S because I’m using Christian terminology there.  So I mean that I am going to try to write where the HOLY Spirit leads, just to see what happens.  

(I’m scared too)

So, I might be doing “Jeff Time” more for me than for anybody else.  And I don’t feel guilty about that.  It’s just how I’m made to be.  Someone once told me something that blew my mind and I didn’t know if it was a compliment or an insult.  They said, “Jeff, it’s so neat that you are so selfless about talking about yourself so much.”  I was like, “Wha-?!”  That didn’t make much sense to me.  How could it be selfless to talk about yourself?  

And she was right that I talk about myself a lot.  She nailed that part.  I do that so much that I annoy even myself!  

(Silence can a good thing, right?) 

I guess it’s interesting for people to hear you talk about your life.  I know that kind of talking is what I usually relate to more.  It seems more personal.  But yeah, it does seem kind of selfish in a way.  

My main goal with my blog (and I’m sure I have already stated this a million times) is to keep regular with it and to try to do it as a kind of service.  I think about a lot of people I know when I am writing and I try to write things that might help them or be good to hear, or even just entertain them.  I don’t think that everybody needs to listen to my music or hear about what movies I like but I guess it’s just my way of trying to make conversation.  Those are just things that I normally talk about with people.

And I’m not saying all of this so I can get really serious or to destroy any mystery surrounding my blog.  I’m just saying it to say it, that’s all.

And now I am going to be quiet again.

Rock.

Man, I had the weirdest dream last night.  I even laid in bed an extra 20 minutes to make sure I got all the details right so I could blog about it.

Well, it didn’t make logical sense.  Dreams don’t normally do that, I guess.  It started when I reunited with a friend from middle school who had just gotten picked to be on the new Real World.  And I think he was excited but it was for the 37th season, set in Tahiti, and not a lot of people still watched the show so they had gotten looser in who they were picking to be on it.  

I tried to tell him how cool it was that he got on the show but secretly I wasn’t very impressed.  

Then somehow (and this is part of the weird dream logic) I was at a third rate amusement park.  The Real World part of the dream was over.  I was getting out of this old school bus with a bunch of other people.  Somehow I figured out that we were part of a traveling songwriter team called Ninety Two out of North Texas.  It was like Ten out of Tenn (the real traveling songwriter group) but instead there were ninety two of us.  

I think I was number 32 or 33.  

We were traveling around to different sucky theme parks to play in little restaurants inside the sucky theme parks.  And since there was 92 of us we were booked for a week in this little pizza place next to the part of the park that was built in the 60’s.  So we weren’t even in the modern part of the park!  And only about 6 people came to the show each night.  It didn’t really make sense to me why we were booked there but… I didn’t want to cause any trouble so I kept quiet.

Well, it was Monday afternoon and I wasn’t scheduled to go on until about 10:30 on Tuesday night so I decided to wander around for a while and try to figure out which song I was going to play.

Everybody on our songwriting team was allowed to play one song a week so I was hoping to make it real special.  I was going through my catalog in my  head.  I was thinking, “Hmm, should I play one of the really depressing ones or maybe one of the funny ones that makes me look like a psychopath… let’s  see here…”  I was having a tough time deciding on just the right one.

 Then I suddenly walked by another songwriter from another traveling  songwriting team (Forty from Florida).  He almost bumped into me but then he saw me and his eyes got huge, “Wait a second!  AREN’T YOU JEFF  GRANT?!?!”  

 I almost dropped my cotton candy.  ”What?!  You know who I am?!”

 ”DUH!!   DEFINITELY!!!”

 ”How do you know me?  Nobody knows me!   Do you read my blog or  something?!”

 ”Everybody knows who YOU are!  Can I take a picture with you?!  My buddies  are never gonna believe this!!”

  ”…Seriously, I’m just curious… do you really know who I am?”  I was  confused.

 ”Yeah, wanna hang out or something?!  Maybe we can talk about songwriting.”

Then I was like, “What?!  You’ve heard of me AND you want to hang out with me and talk about songwriting?! …. are there some hidden cameras around here somewhere?”

“No way man.  I have all of your tapes and cds and I even have a ‘My Feelings Don’t Rock’ bumper sticker, man!  I listen to your music ALL the time, broseph!  All my friends LOVE you!  Gosh, I can’t believe I’m actually talking to you!! I mean, WHOOOOOAAA!”

Then I had to apologize, “Man, I’m sorry.. this is just really weird for me.  I’m not used to thinking that people actually listen to me..  I guess I’d already accepted the fact that my music career is really just me performing one song a week in dive grease pits in bad theme parks and singing alone in different rooms to ceilings.  I thought that all of my fans were… and I know this sounds like a joke but I mean it… ceiling fans…”

“Well, Jeff I have a confession to make.  I am not a ceiling fan.  I’m a person!  And you rock, man!  You make my feelings rock just by being you!!”

I wanted to hug or kiss the guy but I didn’t know how he’d take it.

Then this girl comes up and says hi to him and I realize that she’s this girl who I have had a secret crush on for FIVE YEARS and in my mind I’m like, “OH _____!”  but I tried to play it cool.   

“Oh, hi ______.”  (I’m not gonna say her name on the blog)

Then she said hi back to me and in my mind I was like “wwwwoooooowwww…” and my knees went all wobbly inside of my sequined pants.

It turned out that she was with another traveling songwriter group (Seventy-four from Switzerland [even though she isn't really from Switzerland]).   They were playing restaurants at crappy theme parks too.  But she was one of the first to play so she had just finished her one song performance in a Sushi place in a more hip part of the theme park.  

(I was a little intimidated by this in the dream) 

I couldn’t believe I was actually standing next to her.  Well, walking next to her, I mean.  We were seriously walking right NEXT to each other (past an orange glass-covered dolphin aquarium with only three sickly dolphins swimming and coughing in it)… wow…

I knew it was just a dream..  

I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t say anything.  I looked at her and felt very self conscious.  ”Hi.  Uh..how did your performance go?”

“Good.”

“That’s great!!!!!”

“Yeah.”

It really was so weird to me that she was walking right next to me and talking to me.  And it felt like such a meaningful conversation too..  for me at least..

Then we turned this corner by a dead bluebonnet garden.  The pizza place where I was supposed to play the next night was on our left.

“Um… If you aren’t doing anything tomorrow at 10:30… I’m gonna be playing a song over in that pizza restaurant… I mean… if you’re not doing anything or whatever…”

Then she said, “Oh, yeah?.. uh… tomorrow night… right… okay… maybe I can–”

“GRRRAANT!!!! Quit gettin’ cozy with the locals!!!  You got a job to do kid!!!”  

It was the manager of my songwriting team calling out from the door of the pizza restaurant.

“Uh oh.  I think I have to go.”

Then, instead of seeming like she was sad or anything she just said, “Okay, bye.”  

And then she walked off with the other songwriting guy.

So I went back to the pizza restaurant, hoping that my manager wasn’t

about to beat me, and then—

I woke up.

And then I laid in my bed an extra 20 minutes to remember it.

And then I waited a little while and then I came and blogged about it.

That’s what happened.

I keep forgetting that I can do as many “Jeff Times” as I want to each day.  I say it’s a different “day” but it doesn’t have to be like that really.    

I’m listening to a Bob Dylan cd right now so I might seem distracted.  It’s called Live 1964.  It’s a concert at the Philharmonic Hall.  At least that’s what the library sticker says.  I think this might be the era of Bob Dylan’s music that I am most familiar with.  

The first record of his I got was The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan.  Many of the songs on this live cd are from that album.  The performances aren’t all that different (weren’ those live too?).  There are a bunch of funny interactions with the audience.  They clap and cheer pretty regularly.

Talking about Bob Dylan is an almost frightening to do.  He’s hallowed ground.  I don’t want to say anything too dumb here.  

I think when I was growing up I had always heard of Bob Dylan but I didn’t get The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan until I was about 20 or 21 years old.  I bought it at a cd store in Denton Texas.  It’s that store across the street from the school.  Is that Cd Warehouse?  Maybe.

Well, I remember taking it home and being really curious to listen.  I got the idea to buy it because it’s in a dream sequence scene in the movie Vanilla Sky.  They do a play on the cover with Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz.  It made me want to find the record and listen to it.

I remember what struck me immediately was how quiet the recording was.  At that point most of the music I listened to was big, radio pop and alternative rock.  I was accustomed to hearing heavily produced music.  I think that’s why when I was growing up I never thought musicians were real people.  I always thought they were aliens or something because cds never sounded like real environments.  

The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan was different.  It was mostly just him and acoustic guitar and the occasional harmonica.  It was mindblowingly simple.  I think that’s what knocked me down.  I couldn’t believe how spare the recording was and how full the songs still seemed.  They didn’t need anything else.  And that simplicity has always been a thing I think about when I myself am writing songs.  My goal with songwriting has always been to write the songs solidly enough to where they could stand alone without any other instrumentation.  I would never have dreamt that was even possible if I hadn’t listened to the early Bob Dylan recordings.  I remember getting a real lesson in musical economy from that.  

Songs are such tight little things.  

I’ve listened to several of his albums since then but I still think that the first few have always meant the most to me on a personal level.  And that’s not even an opinion.  That’s just the truth.  

I was thinking tonight about the quality of his music.  I had just listened to Lady Ga Ga on Saturday Night Live.  She was wearing some sort of metal hula hoop thing.  I really didn’t get it.  I’m not familiar enough with her music to even have an opinion.  That was just what was on my mind when I put the Dylan record on.  I kept thinking about what a pristine artist he is.  His songs are so deep with meaning.  It’s a quality that is aimed at by so many but something that only he truly possesses.  

It’s just so strange to hear such originality.  I know that Dylan has his influences but he is completely in his own universe.  When you put on his music it’s like there is nothing else happening in the world.  And I say that because there really are so few artists with that level of originality.  It seems like everybody is just another version of somebody else.  And I don’t know if that is a criticism.  I think it might just be the truth.  It’s like there was one Jesus, there was one Shakespeare and there is just one Bob Dylan.  There are copies and imitations but only one genuine article.  

Even he himself has to put on his Bob Dylan mask.  

Just think about that one for a minute…